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No Sympathy
This is one of those things that just really gets under my skin. I'm sitting at a stop light, on my way to work, and some lady has a sign around her neck: 5 kids no job can you help?
There are two things I would love to say to her, but I don't have the guts to say it to her face (and instead I blog about it), because in person, I cannot be rude. Sure, I can think things, but unless you really manage to personally piss me off, I cannot be rude--and I hate confrontation.
The first: Um, if you're wasting time begging for money on the street, why don't you consider using your time more wisely and walk a block to McDonalds who has a HUGE painted window that says 'Hiring, $10/hr'
The second: If you cannot provide for your children and you degrade yourself to bumming around the streets for money, then stop having kids! You have five, it's not like it was an accident--five times!
And what's worse is the fact that she goes to every car who's sitting at the stoplight, knocks on the driver window and says, "Can you help?" The car in front of me gave her cash that she threw into her bag she was carrying. It's people like that who contribute to people like her, making them think it's okay to beg for money.
I know times can be hard. Trust me, I've been there. BUT, i've been working since I was 16. At one point I was a single mother, making only minimum wage. Yes, it can be done, but not if you're lazy. I don't have any sympathy for lazy people who try to take an easy way out AND resort to panhandling.
So anyways, that's my pet peeve of the week.
/rant
There are two things I would love to say to her, but I don't have the guts to say it to her face (and instead I blog about it), because in person, I cannot be rude. Sure, I can think things, but unless you really manage to personally piss me off, I cannot be rude--and I hate confrontation.
The first: Um, if you're wasting time begging for money on the street, why don't you consider using your time more wisely and walk a block to McDonalds who has a HUGE painted window that says 'Hiring, $10/hr'
The second: If you cannot provide for your children and you degrade yourself to bumming around the streets for money, then stop having kids! You have five, it's not like it was an accident--five times!
And what's worse is the fact that she goes to every car who's sitting at the stoplight, knocks on the driver window and says, "Can you help?" The car in front of me gave her cash that she threw into her bag she was carrying. It's people like that who contribute to people like her, making them think it's okay to beg for money.
I know times can be hard. Trust me, I've been there. BUT, i've been working since I was 16. At one point I was a single mother, making only minimum wage. Yes, it can be done, but not if you're lazy. I don't have any sympathy for lazy people who try to take an easy way out AND resort to panhandling.
So anyways, that's my pet peeve of the week.
/rant
(Anonymous)
This is certainly not the case everywhere-- there are many sad stories of women whose husband suddenly pick up and leave and the like-- who don't usually resort to begging for cash. But after reading through 300+ referrals over the Christmas season, those true hardship cases are few and far between. "McDonalds pays $10 and hour...why work there if I could make the same amount on the street?" seems to be the problem. And I can't say I blame them in that respect...if I could make money standing somewhere instead of working, I know I would.
I have a friend who had a severely handicapped son. When my friend tried getting more and better jobs and made more money to support his family, he was dropped from government support, but he didn't have enough to cover the expenses. So in a way, he was docked for trying to do the right thing. Fortunately, there was a non-profit organization which helped families in this position of making too much money to qualify for help but not enough money to pay for the bills themselves. Just because you have a job doesn't mean you have good healthcare.
We don't know the stories behind these people on the street. We have a friend, who held the same position/rank as my husband. He's been living in homeless shelters off and on for a few years after hitting a bad patch of luck. Sure, some will say he should pull himself out of it, but for some reason he can't. He slid from being middle class to homeless. Splat.
I dunno about the five kids thing. I'm not sure we can judge. Birth control isn't always covered by health insurance. I know of a very well known realtor that does NOT cover vasectomies. I knew a young couple in the military who couldn't get a vasectomy because they were too young. They were under 25 and already had three kids.
A lot of homeless people also suffer from mental illness. There are not enough resources for these people. Public mental health hospitals have been closing their doors due to lack of funding. These people don't have any boots to pull up.
But yes, I do know what you're saying. And I've had two "friends" in the past who took advantage of me and the system. There are a lot of people who take advantage and are lazy. And there are those who don't. It's a hard call.
I meant RETAILER...think one of those Big Boxes
neither vasectomies OR well baby checks are covered
I know of homeless people who work very hard to keep themselves fed. They don't beg. There are many jobs out there- yard work and the like- and there are TONS of job centers that cater to the homeless in most states. DH and I were technically homeless for a time (we lived in a hunting shed that really wasn't legal), ourselves, but we certainly never went begging on the streets.
And yep, practice some self control. Not only in procreation, but from what I've seen, probably a good 90% or more of the homeless people I encounter are homeless due to drugs or alcohol. I'm not handing out our hard-earned money to someone who is just going to convert it into booze or drugs.
Kay is right too, though. The welfare system is so messed up. I actually worked as a subcontractor for the government for a while, and of course they didn't give me any medical benefits. So I applied for medical assistance for the kids, and was denied because I made too much money. But not enough to buy insurance... I can see why people would resort to panhandling in cases like that. The people who really are willing to work hard and for whatever reason can't get ahead (lay offs, injuries, etc) are punished. I could go on...
I own a very small retail store with a big window. I watch the street people bumming money every day--the same old people (actually some of them are quite young)--the same old sad story. And sometimes they make more $$$ than I do!! Seriously! Then I see the brown paper bag. Out comes the vodka bottle. Of course they always have plenty of cigarettes (unless they're bumming those, too). One day, a group of them stole my jewelry display outside and hid it in the bushes to pick up later. Luckily, we caught them!
Yeah, I'm sorry for their hard luck. I've had hard luck, too. And I, too, have been a single mom. But some of these people are aggresive, and get ugly when you don't give!!
I don't know the answer. It's sad, really. Who would choose to live like that? Sometimes it's mental illness. Sometimes it's addiction. Whatever the cause, it seems like it's just a part of our society. And it seems like after you slip out of the mainstream loop, it's hard to climb back in.
Oh well, just thought I'd toss that out.
marybeth
i cant stand when there is a situation like that where there are, like you said, FIVE kids involved!! i mean cmon. if you cant afford them then stop making them! it may make me sound horrible, but like the people in Africa [or wherever we always talk about starving kids] who keep having these sick dying children. WHY DO THEY HAVE THEM!?!?
you look so pretty in your icons!!!! hows the little one?
I don't believe they have much in the way of birth control methods in third world countries.
And what if you could afford the kids when you had them, but something went terribly wrong AFTERwards, which put you on the street?
I spent four years as a single mom of 2. I cleaned other people's homes, offices, worked at fast food, painted, washed windows whatever I had to do to raise them. I know most of those people are addicts of some sort or mentally ill. If offered real help they refuse. If you offer to give them food or even coffee, they refuse. They want money. I don't help them because I have worked too hard all my life to buy someone's drugs. If they want food, I'll give it to them.
The jobs I had were never prestigious, but I have self respect.
P.S. I sure would like to have one of those site meter thingies, but I can't figure it out. *I'm begging, of course* lol
Go to: http://sitemeter.com or you can even click on mine and it will take you to the site. once you sign up, you just copy and paste the html into your LJ post each time. If you need help with it, let me know =)